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The  Judging  of  Jurgen 


The  Judging  of  Jurgen 


By 

James  Branch  Cabell 


CHICAGO 
THE  BOOKFELLOWS 

1920 


The  Judging  of  Jurgen,  by  James  Branch  Cabell,  BOOKFELLOW 
No.  513,  is  reprinted  by  permission  from  the  NEW  YORK 
TRIBUNE.  Acknowledgment  is  also  made  to  Vincent  Starrett, 

BOOKFELLOW  No.   8. 


Thw  is  the  BooTcly  Joy  for  October,  1920 


J.  B.  C.:  IN  GRATITUDE 

OW  do  I  thank  you,  Cabell,  in  this  wise : 
For  Horvendile  and  Jurgen,  fifty  lacs 
Of  rupees  and  of  pearls,  and  thirty 

sacks 

Of  maidens'  hearts  and  sudden  widows'  eyes. 
And  you  shall  have  your  pick  of  knightly  steeds, 
And  banners,  shrewdly  sewn  with  golden  thread; 
There  shall  be  steel  and  velvet  for  your  head, 
And  for  your  soul,  a  string  of  amber  beads. 
This  for  the  present:  I  shall  add,  in  time, 
Much  that  your  prowess  shall  exult  to  see, 
When  you  have  trysted  with  Calliope, 
And  quilled  the  record  of  your  joyous  crime. 
I  can  be  grateful,  as  you  shall  be  shown     .     .     . 
You  shall  have  all  Chicago  for  your  own ! 

—  VINCENT  STARRETT 


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THE  JUDGING  OF  JTJKGTCN 


of  Poictesme  narrate  that  in  the 
old  days  a  court  was  held  by  the  Phil- 
istines  to  decide  whether  or  no  King 
Jurgen  should  be  relegated  to  limbo.  And 
when  the  judges  were  prepared  for  judging, 
there  came  into  the  court  a  great  tumblebug, 
rolling  in  front  of  him  his  loved  and  proper 
ly  housed  young  ones. 

This  insect  looked  at  Jurgen,  and  its 
pincers  rose  erect  in  horror.  And  the  bug 
cried  to  the  three  judges,  "Now,  by  St.  An 
thony!  this  Jurgen  must  forthwith  be  rele 
gated  to  limbo,  for  he  is  offensive  and  lewd 
and  lascivious  and  indecent." 

"And  how  can  that  be?"  says  Jurgen. 

"You  are  off  ensive,  "  the  bug  replied,  "be 
cause  you  carry  a  sword,  which  I  choose  to 
say  is  not  a  sword.  You  are  lewd,  because 
you  carry  a  staff,  which  I  prefer  to  think  is 
not  a  staff.  You  are  lascivious,  because  you 
carry  a  lance,  which  I  elect  to  declare  is  not 

9 


a  lance.  And,  finally,  you  are  indecent  for 
leasons  of  which  a  description  would  be  ob 
jectionable  to  me,  and  which,  therefore,  I 
must  decline  to  reveal  to  anybody." 

"Well,  that  sounds  logical,"  says  Jurgen, 
"but,  still,  at  the  same  time,  it  would  be  no 
worse  for  an  admixture  of  common  sense. 
For  you,  gentlemen,  can  see  for  yourselves 
that  I  have  here  a  sword  and  a  lance  and  a 
staff,  and  no  mention  of  anything  else ;  and 
that  all  the  lewdness  is  in  the  insectival  mind 
of  him  who  itches  to  be  calling  these  things 
by  other  names." 

The  judges  said  nothing  as  yet,  But  they 
that  guarded  Jurgen  and  all  the  other  Phil 
istines  stood  to  this  side  and  to  that  side  with 
their  eyes  shut  tight  and  saying  in  unison, 
"We  decline  to  look,  because  to  look  might 
Seem  to  imply  a  doubt  of  what  the  tumble- 
bug  has  said.  Besides,  so  long  as  the  tum- 
blebug  has  reasons  which  he  declines  to  re 
veal,  his  reasons  stay  unanswerable,  and  you 
are  plainly  a  prurient  rascal,  who  are  mak 
ing  trouble  for  yourself." 

"To  the  contrary,"  says  Jurgen,  "I  am  a 
poet  and  I  make  literature." 

"But  in  Philistia  to  make  literature  and 
to  make  trouble  for  yourself  are  synonyms," 

10 


the  tumblebug  explained.  "I  know,  for 
already  we  of  Philistia  have  been  pestered 
by  three  of  these  makers  of  literature.  Yes, 
there  was  Edgar,  whom  I  starved  and  hunted 
until  I  was  tired  of  it ;  then  I  chased  him  up 
a  back  alley  one  night  and  knocked  out  those 
annoying  brains  of  his.  And  there  was 
Walt,  whom  I  chivvied  and  battered  from 
place  to  place  and  made  a  paralytic  out  of 
him;  and  him,  too,  I  labelled  offensive  and 
lewd  and  lascivious  and  indecent.  Then, 
later,  there  \vas  Mark,  whom  I  frightened 
into  disguising  himself  in  a  clown's  suit,  so 
that  nobody  might  suspect  him  of  being  one 
of  those  vile  makers  of  literature ;  indeed,  I 
frightened  him  so  that  he  hid  away  the 
greater  part  of  what  he  had  made  until  he 
was  dead  and  I  could  not  get  at  him.  That 
was  a  disgusting  trick  to  play  on  me,  I  con 
sider.  Still,  these  are  the  only  three  detect 
ed  makers  of  literature  that  have  ever  in 
fested  Philistia,  thanks  be  to  goodness  and 
my  vigilance,  but  for  both  of  which  we  might 
have  been  no  more  free  from  makers  of  lit 
erature  than  are  the  other  countries." 

"Now,  but  these  three,"  cried  Jurgen, 
"are  the  glories  of  Philistia;  and  of  all  that 
Philistia  has  produced,  it  is  these  three 

11 


alone,  whom  living  ye  made  least  of,  that 
to-day  are  honored  wherever  art  is  honored, 
and  where  nobody  bothers  one  way  or  the 
other  about  Philistia!" 

"What  is  art  to  me  and  my  way  of  liv 
ing?"  replied  the  tumblebug,  wearily.  "I 
have  no  concern  with  art  and  letters  and  the 
other  lewd  idols  of  foreign  nations.  I  have 
in  charge  the  moral  welfare  of  my  young, 
whom  I  roll  here  before  me,  and  trust,  with 
St.  Anthony's  aid,  to  raise  in  time  to  be  God 
fearing  tumblebugs  like  me.  For  the  rest, 
I  have  never  minded  dead  men  being  well 
spoken  of;  no,  no,  my  lad,  once  whatever  I 
may  do  means  nothing  to  you,  and  once  you 
are  really  rotten  you  will  find  the  tumblebug 
friendly  enough.  Meanwhile,  I  am  paid  to 
protest  that  living  persons  are  offensive  and 
lewd  and  lascivious  and  indecent,  and  one 
must  live." 

Jurgen  now  looked  more  attentively  at 
this  queer  creature;  and  he  saw  that  the 
tumblebug  was  malodorous  certainly,  but  at 
bottom  honest  and  well  meaning;  and  that 
seemed  to  Jurgen  the  saddest  thing  he  had 
found  among  the  Philistines.  For  the  tum 
blebug  was  sincere  in  his  insane  doings  and 
all  Philistia  honored  him  sincerely,  so  that 

12 


there  was  nowhere  any  hope  for  this  people. 

Therefore,  King  Jurgen  addressed  him 
self  to  submit,  as  his  need  was,  to  the  strange 
customs  of  the  Philistines.  "Now  do  you 
judge  me  fairly,"  cried  Jurgen  to  his  judges, 
"if  there  be  any  justice  in  this  insane  coun 
try.  And  if  there  be  none,  do  you  relegate 
me  to  limbo,  or  to  any  other  place,  so  long 
as  in  that  place  this  tumblebug  is  not  om 
nipotent  and  sincere  and  insane." 

And  Jurgen  waited.  .  . 


13 


NOW  THE  MORAL  OF  THE  JUDGING  OF  JURGEN,  WHICH 
IS  ALSO  THE  DEDICATION  OF  JURGEN,  IS,  AS  IT  WAS  IN 
THE  BEGINNING  : 

BEFORE  EACH  TARRADIDDLE, 
UNCOWED  BY  SCIOLISTS, 
EOBUSTER  PERSONS  TWIDDLE 
TREMENDOUSLY  BIG  FISTS. 

"OUR  GODS  ARE  GOOD,"  THEY  TELL  US, 
' '  NOR  WILL  OUR  GODS  DEFER 
EEIMISSION  OF  RUDE  FELLOWS' 
ABILITY  TO  ERR." 

SO  THIS  YOUR  JURGEN  TRAVELS 
CONTENT  TO  COMPROMISE 
ORDAINMENTS  NONE  UNRAVELS 
EXPLICITLY  AND  SIGHS. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 
BERKELEY 

Return  to  desk  from  which  borrowed. 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


MAR     9 


18«ay5|Cl 


LD  21-100m-9,'<t7(A5702sl6)476 


